Marriage: two hearts coming together to act as a single entity. In today’s modern society, marriage is also known to be two family units coming together as one. Encore weddings celebrate the love and marriage (possibly second or third) of two individuals and their combined offspring – often teenage and adult children.
Encore weddings throw old wedding traditions out the window. Families can individualize the day to suit their own dynamic in a way that is inclusive of everyone’s feelings, both parents and children. New wedding traditions can include sons walking their mother down the aisle or participating as groomsmen or the best man, and daughters acting as the MOH (maid of honour). Bachelor or bachelorette parties and wedding showers are reinvented into spa days with the ladies or a golf game for the guys.
The good and bad is that there are no written rules for encore weddings, which means you can go with what works for your family. After adhering to weddings traditions the first time around, encore weddings open up the floor to looser rules and a more individualized event.
Here are a few things to consider from Candice Wasserstein, a Toronto Wedding Planner.
- Don’t shy away from planning the wedding of your dreams whether it’s the second or third time around
- There are no right or wrong decisions
- Parents should respect their children’s wishes to participate or not to participate, and not force anything
- Parents should listen to and ask their children for input and ideas
- If the children are comfortable, incorporate them into the process as much as possible. “It’s really about the integration of the two families,” says Wasserstein.
Building your new life together is a process. This is one step in a new and exciting journey.
Start the wedding discussions early, and continue them up to and after the big day. This is a chance to share your love and create traditions for your family in a way that is comfortable for everyone involved.
“I think the bond between a child and parent is unbreakable and the symbolism of children giving away parents or just being involved is a special memory that will last forever.”