Giving and getting gifts
If you receive a communal gift from a group, each person should receive a hand-written note from you.
You will receive wedding and shower gifts. You will give gifts to your attendants and those who host a shower for you. Those are the basics – there may be more. You may give a gift to each other and gifts to your parents to acknowledge all their help and support. You may give gifts to those who make a contribution in time or talent to your wedding. (Most service people, however, will receive gratuities, rather than gifts.) All of this gift-giving and gift-getting requires strict accounting.
- Set up a template for each shower, headed up by the name of the shower host or hosts and the date and location of the shower.
- Record the gift(s) you gave to the host or hosts.
- List the name of each person who gave a gift and leave a space to collect the addresses.
- Record the gift.
- Record the date you sent your thank you note.
- Set up a template, similar to the one set up for the shower.
- Record how the gift was received: delivered to your home, delivered to your parents' homes, stored by the registry store for you to collect after the wedding, or received at the wedding.
- Put a reliable friend in charge of collecting the gifts delivered at the wedding and be clear about where he or she is to deliver them – and when.
- Keep registry stores alerted to changes.
Gifts to give
You may bring a gift with you when you arrive at the shower or send it the following day or two along with your thank you note.
Don't bring cut flowers to any social event – hosts don't have time to scramble for a vase, cut stalks and arrange flowers. If you bring flowers, have them already arranged in a vase or pot.
A more personal gift will be appreciated, such as perfume, guest towels, a new book that is being discussed...tailor the choice to what you know of the host's personality and interests.
Give careful thought to these gifts so they show your appreciation for their major contribution in both time and money to your wedding. A piece of jewellery is appreciated, but each piece should be different and chosen to reflect the taste of the recipient. Nobody will appreciate receiving a gift that is identical to the other maids. If you decide to pay for them to have their makeup or hair done, this is a wedding expense that you have decided to absorb, but it is not a gift, which should be something tangible.
Maid of honour
If your maid of honour has much more to do than the bridesmaids, it is appropriate to give her a more substantial gift.
To each other
Many couples skip the giftgiving to each other, but it may be that you would each like to have something special from each other to commemorate the day.